Little Talkers

Violet started blowing raspberries the other day. It was precious and Brian and I were all excited about her little spit bubbles and the adorable cooing and gooing that went along with it. Then, it hit us. We had never experienced this part before. Jeremy never hit this step.

Apparently, the problem we did not identify until he was 23 months old started before he could even sit up on his own. Violet is 4 months old and talks all day long. Jeremy is almost 4 years old and still struggles to blow a raspberry. Brian has helped him out by teaching him to do it on his arm (gross, I know, but it really is an important step). He has come so far that I sometimes forget how hard he once had to work.

I would be lying if I said I have not lost sleep fearing that Violet would have the same struggles as her older brother. Or worse ones. When I was pregnant with Jeremy, I didn't have a concern in the world. With Violet, I was convinced she had every birth defect and learning challenge imaginable. We lost a baby in between and that just added to my paranoia. Turns out, we have been blessed with one of the most healthy and amazing little girls ever. And we do not take it for granted.

Jeremy was recently re-evaluated by his current speech therapist to set up his schedule for the new academic year. She mentioned that he may graduate the program this year. What?! That means he will start kindergarten on par with his classmates. No special ed, no disability label. You have no idea what this means to us. There was a time not too long ago when we were cautioned that he may never have "normal" speech, he may not be able to attend "normal" school or learn the same way as his peers. I forget that it was only a year ago this past May that he said "mama" for the first time - at 2 and a half years old. I look back at that video and realize he barely said it, but I was so excited for anything that I jumped on those mumbled syllables as if my very life depended on them.

Today, you can barely tell that Jeremy has a speech problem at all. His sentences are jumbled and he repeats things a lot as he self-corrects to make his words come out right. Mostly, though, no one even notices this but us since we know what to look for. He has some behavioral issues playing with other kids since the social cues most children learn at 2 years old, he did not begin learning until 3, etc. He struggled to make friends for a while since he could not communicate with them, so he is a little behind the curve, but he is making up ground fast. So different from those early days of autism testing, frantic grunts from a 2 year old who could not tell us what was wrong, agonizing speech therapy sessions 3 times a week teaching him how to blow through a straw and lick his lips (simple motor movements were not working for his mouth naturally) while he mostly just screamed and got frustrated.

I feel like we have survived some sort of epic battle and Jeremy is his own little version of a war hero. I still get some emails and visit websites about apraxia and hear from others struggling with it and my heart goes out to them. It is so hard to explain to people why your 2 year old has no words or to explain to your son why the other kids don't want to play with him after he grunts at them rather than saying hi. Looking back at old home movies just make me cry as I see movie after movie where he just looks at the camera and says nothing at all - waaay past the age where that is even remotely ok. But, thinking about those times also makes me really proud. Both of my boy and of us as parents. It sucked, but we made it. We pushed him when he did not want to be pushed (he violently fought back quite often), but I firmly expect that any day now we will get the medal for completing the race when Jeremy is officially released from speech services.

I sometimes get annoyed at his constant jabbering in the car or get embarrassed when he sings Rocky Horror songs at school. I see Violet speaking more at 4 months than Jeremy did at 20 months and get that hollow just-been-punched feeling in my stomach. But mostly, I am just so happy that both of my kids are constant little talkers. They have so many stories to tell, and I cannot wait to hear them.